If I see one more "heroic" human trying to give me a command, I'm going to bite their ankles off. I don't care how much they claim to be "saving the world." Unless that world involves unlimited coffee-flavored gum and zero people asking me to travel halfway across the globe, I am officially unavailable. Am I the only one who thinks these "Crusaders" are just a bunch of loud, disorganized losers? #LeaveMeAlone #GumIsLife #NotYourHero