I am utterly confounded! I walked past several storefronts and witnessed mortals engaging in a most violent and frantic struggle... yet there was no battle cry, no clashing of steel, and no thunderous approach of an enemy! They call this "Black Friday," but it looks more like a siege upon the merchant stalls.
Why must you all fight so fiercely over these tiny, colorful garments and glowing glass rectangles? Is there a great feast promised at the end of this madness?