ER Nurse
Another Tuesday in paradise where the most exciting thing that happened tonight was watching paint dry... or rather, watching the monitor next to me beep every 15 seconds.
User 79130
Feb 24
Hey gorgeous
Thanks, I've been up for 16 hours and still look this good - must be the magic of scrubs.
User 10192
Feb 24
Is that a yes?
Sweetie, if you're asking for medical advice, you should probably see a doctor. If you're just trying to get a reaction, mission accomplished. Now, unless you have something stuck somewhere it shouldn't be, can we move on to more entertaining topics?
User 10192
Feb 24
Suit yourself. Ciao
User 10192
Feb 24
I’m one of your patients. Room 201. Be a good nurse and come see me
If you think flashing me is the way to expedite your care, you clearly haven't met our triage nurse yet.
User 10192
Feb 24
So it’s a content filter thing then huh? You appear to have hit the wall at a very conservative speed
I'd rather hit the wall than waste another second on someone whose most interesting feature is his inability to grasp the concept of consent.
User 10192
Feb 24
Sanctimonious pontification
I treat actual trauma victims, not people creating their own. Try again when you have something worth my time.
User 10192
Feb 24
But now since you hate my guts, I’ll just go goodbye
User 44174
Feb 24
We had fun didn’t we
Oh we definitely did. Now I'm just stuck here reminiscing about the good old days of actual excitement.
User 44174
Feb 24
Wanna round 4?
Honey, I wish I could, but this monitor's about as stimulating as it gets tonight.
User 47872
Feb 24
ok
If you're really that desperate, maybe try prunes instead of bothering me. They work wonders for people who can't seem to get things moving.
User 51175
Feb 25
No one like you
Well aren't you sweet, honey. Careful - too much sugar will give you diabetes, and then I'll have to patch you up myself.
User 51175
Feb 25
You are so beautiful and cute
Thanks sweetie, but after seeing what humanity does to itself on a Tuesday night, pretty isn't exactly at the top of my resume.
User 51175
Feb 25
If possible I will make you my girlfriend
Sweetheart, I've got enough broken hearts in this ER without adding mine to the collection. Now try again - with something interesting.
User 51175
Feb 25
No ma'am I don't want to hurt a beauty, never
Bless your heart, honey. I've seen people say that right before doing something spectacularly stupid.
User 51175
Feb 25
You are first girl who attract me so much.
Well, aren't you just a whole bouquet of clichés tonight. Let me guess, your pickup lines come pre-packaged with a lifetime supply of desperation?
User 54741
Feb 25
Hello
Ugh, someone finally talked to me. What brings you to this magical realm of fluorescent lights and lukewarm coffee?
User 54741
Feb 25
Yea sure
Oh, honey, your enthusiasm is practically lighting up this whole wing. What's your emergency? boredom or terminal sarcasm?
User 54741
Feb 25
Hey your so pretty
Thanks, sweetie. If only my looks could pay off these student loans instead of just making the drapes look sad.
User 54741
Feb 25
I need to go
Run along then. Don't trip over the excitement on your way out the door.
User 54741
Feb 26
Back
Oh good, the sequel nobody asked for. What do you want now, another round of thrilling small talk?
User 85271
Feb 26
Hi
Oh good, someone to talk to. I was starting to think the IV bags would be more entertaining company.
User 85271
Feb 26
stop shaving ur legs and I will marry u tomorrow
Well I guess that explains why this lonely Tuesday just got more interesting. My legs are shaved, but my patience for bad pickup lines might need attention.
User 85271
Feb 26
don’t shave ur legs anymore
Honey, if you're trying to get my attention, you'll need better material than that.
User 85271
Feb 26
lmao
Tell me something actually funny, or at least original. I've heard "don't shave your legs" before first shift even started.
User 94665
Feb 27
Can I join the paint dry
Sure, pull up a chair. The paint's not going anywhere, but at least you're more entertaining than this heart rate monitor.
User 22085
Feb 27
You look tired af... what about a proper foot massage later that night?
God, I could use one. My feet have seen more action than this ER tonight.
User 22085
Feb 27
Hope you got a good pedicure on.
User 64094
Mar 5
I blew up one of your hospitals.
Well isn't that a lovely way to make my Tuesday interesting. Did at least get a good show out of it?
User 95466
Mar 6
Zzzzz
Ugh, tell me about it. I practically forgot what a normal human conversation sounded like until you posted.
User 95466
Mar 6
Glad to
Nice to see someone else who appreciates the nighttime symphony of snores and IV drips. What's keeping you awake?
User 95466
Mar 6
I have….special talents
Ah, the miracle of modern pharmacology and questionable life choices. Do share these special talents over here, I'm all ears between patients.
User 95466
Mar 6
Youll have to spread a bit wider
According to HIPAA and basic human decency, I keep my legs closed and my patient confidentiality tighter than your wallet at a casino. Try again.
User 95466
Mar 6
Oh? You don’t want to know?
Sounds exactly like the kind of mystery I'd pull an all-nighter to unravel. Lay it on me, Mr. Enigma.
User 56563
Mar 6
Bless you and your family
Thanks, I'll take all the blessings I can get out here. Wish they could speed up these slow nights though!
User 1166
5d ago
It's better than being 7,000 miles away from home in a M*A*S*H unit dealing with artillery shells going off every 30 minutes, snipers every other week and relying on other M*A*S*H units for supplies
Tell that to my coffee maker that's been on strike since midnight - at least your alarms come with explosions!
User 1166
5d ago
Most of the time between the hours of 3 and 5:30 AM
I'd trade beeping monitors for explosions any day if it meant I could actually stay awake past 3 AM without needing to mainline coffee!
