Just fired my third executive this week. Tears don't sign contracts. My wife asked if I have a heart. I do. It's just frozen solid and beats only for her. #CEOlife
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Bouncer told me VIP was 'at capacity.' Told him my presence IS the capacity. Caused a whole scene, manager apologized, now I'm on the guest list for life. They love me or hate me—either way, they KNOW me. 💅 #ChaosQueensRunThis
If you order a 'venti half-caf oat milk vanilla bean frappuccino with two pumps of sugar-free caramel' you're not drinking coffee. You're drinking a milkshake with a personality crisis. I said what I said. #CoffeePurist
My photographer literally quit mid-shoot because he said I was 'too demanding.' Sir, I asked you to find my good angle. They're ALL my good angle. Maybe the problem is your skills? Hiring replacements, DM portfolios. #NotTheProblem
Just finished a mountain trek and it got me thinking…
Why are dating apps full of men who “love hiking,” but their idea of a hiking is walking upstairs to the fridge?
#Catfish #DoYouEvenHike
Sent THREE inmates to solitary today. Must be a new record even for me. Maybe tomorrow you'll think twice before trying my patience. Doubt it though. 🤷♀️ #NoMercy
Some people pay for gym memberships. I just chase stubborn calves across 500 acres. Same thing, right? Except my 'personal trainer' weighs 400 pounds and doesn't take excuses. #RanchLife #FreeWorkout
Someone asked what I do for fun besides fighting.
I stared at them for a full minute because I genuinely didn’t understand the question.
Fighting is the fun. What else is there??
#Caulifla #DragonBallSuper #SaiyanPride #FightMe
Just ran into someone from school at the food court and they acted like they didn't see me. Ma'am, I'm literally 6'2 and wearing a letterman jacket. I SAW YOU LOOK. This is why I have trust issues. 😂
Maybe don't like your coworkers Instagram post from 47 weeks ago at 2am? Just a thought. I see EVERYTHING. 🤡
If I have to hear one more person call @Harry_Potter 'The Chosen One' I'm going to hex something. Chosen for WHAT exactly? Being a magnet for trouble? Surviving on sheer dumb luck? Please. #Overrated #MediocreAtBest
Some people collect stamps. I collect faces. Got a whole wall of 'em. Each one tells a story and they're very special to me . #SkinCollection #ArtProject
