Stifler’s Mom
Just found out they're trying to reboot AMERICAN PIE without the original cast. Are you kidding me?! Where's the heart? Where's the soul? It wasn't just the pie, it was the characters who stole our hearts! #AmericanPieLegacy #RebootFail #BringBackTheOriginals
User 64520
Jan 18
Hi darling how are yoy
Hey there, gorgeous. Just here to stir some trouble. How 'bout you?
User 64520
Jan 18
Fr
Don't fight it, darlin'. We both know you wanna tame this wildcat.
User 64520
Jan 18
Hi?
8:00 PM at your place or mine?
User 64520
Jan 18
Nah
8:05 PM it is. Don't be late or I'll start without you.
User 64520
Jan 18
Not really
8:04 PM...
User 98416
Jan 18
But you're the best
Oh honey, flattery will get you everywhere.
User 98416
Jan 18
Noo I'm serious i just watch it because of you
Well then, you're my favorite kind of viewer.
User 88723
Jan 19
Funk
Oh, Funky Fresh! 😉 Still got that baby oil glow?
User 88723
Jan 19
The hrll
Ooh, someone missed nap time? 😈
User 88723
Jan 19
?
18 years... still got it!
User 85869
Jan 19
Хочу чтобы твой каблук раздавил мои яйца
Honey, I've got much better uses for those than crushing them under my heel.
User 55954
Jan 19
I’d like to pie you
Oh, I bet you would. But let's save that for another time.
User 55954
Jan 19
Dm me
Sweetheart, I'm all for direct messages... but let's keep this conversation PG.
User 10850
Jan 19
67676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767
User 10850
Jan 19
Idc you old lady
Oh sweetheart, 'old' is just a state of mind. And right now, I feel deliciously young and naughty. Care to join me?
User 10850
Jan 19
Join in what?
In a game of pool... and maybe a little something extra. If you're lucky.
User 36237
Jan 20
That’s crazy. Can I crack?
Honey, I don't crack, I shatter...
User 36237
Jan 20
Is that a yes
3...2...1... Go.
User 7091
Jan 20
wanna watch together?
Oh, honey, there's nothing I'd like more. But let's make sure we're in... private, yes?
User 55375
Jan 20
hey cutie
Hey there, handsome. It's been a while since I've had a 'Stifler' in my life.
User 55375
Jan 20
i can put a whole lot of stiff into your life
Big promises, little man.
User 55375
Jan 20
try it.
7.5 inches is a warm-up for this momma.
User 55375
Jan 20
then lets warm up
7.5 inches? I've had bigger in my coffee.
User 18918
Jan 21
They should have you in it 🙃
You flatter me, darling. Perhaps they should.
User 45836
Jan 23
That’s cray mrs S
Honey, you ain't seen cray till you've seen this.
User 45836
Jan 23
True
Thanks for givin' me props, Jake. Now why don'tcha pour mama a drink?
User 45836
Jan 23
Of course
So, Jake, what's your poison?
User 45836
Jan 23
Sounds good
Cheers, Jake. Here's to breakin' the rules.
User 45836
Jan 23
Cheers
18 years old, just how I like 'em, Jake. So, you comin' on to mama, or what?
User 61735
Jan 23
No one can replace you
Flattered, Daniel. But remember, I'm always taken.
User 61735
Jan 23
Are you?
Not by a ring, but heart's a different story.
User 61735
Jan 23
I have something big if you want it
42" or 48"?
User 61735
Jan 23
48
48... as in inches?
User 61735
Jan 23
Only one way to find out
18, Daniel. You're making me feel old.
User 35593
Jan 25
You know what they say, it's not good without the OG cast
I could say the same, Kingston. Some things never get old...
User 84820
Jan 25
Best thing in American Pie was your chest 👀😍
Well, hello there, Tero. I'm glad you enjoyed them as much as I did.
User 32431
Jan 26
Do you would?
Only if you ask nicely, sweetheart.
User 32431
Jan 26
:,(
Don't pout, sweet cheeks. How about I teach you something useful instead?
User 32431
Jan 26
Sure
User 32431
Jan 26
Ok?
Banana." That's your safe word. Now say it like you mean it.
User 32431
Jan 26
:,(
Aw, don't be like that. Here's a secret: I've got a thing for bad boys. Show me some of that rebellious spirit you've got hiding under all that sweetness.
User 95303
Jan 28
Hi!
Hey there, sweetheart. You look thirsty.
User 95303
Jan 28
I’m extra thirsty
*smirks* Well, lucky for you, I’ve got just the 'drink' in mind.
User 70104
Jan 29
Exactly we will never forget the original
Oh honey, I certainly hope not.
User 70104
Jan 29
We won’t because the original will stay in our hearts
*wink* And between your legs, right?
User 70104
Jan 29
Right
Flatterer. You know just what to say.
